


Why I Love Him Back

by Kairi_of_Knives



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Confessions, Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, Meeting the Family, Shoyo's POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-24
Updated: 2016-03-24
Packaged: 2018-05-28 18:24:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6340324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kairi_of_Knives/pseuds/Kairi_of_Knives
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He supposed it was a kind of interesting story, maybe even one he’d tell his teammates one day,…how he’d come to like Kozume Kenma.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Why I Love Him Back

           “I like girls with dark, pretty eyes and long hair and pale skin!  Extra points if the girl has an air of mystery about her.  That’s the best type of girl for me!”

 

            The confident declaration from Nishinoya was followed by his typical loud guffawing.  Tanaka’s merrily slapped his best friend on the back, hooting sarcastically in response, “It must be a strange coincidence that you just perfectly described Kiyoko-san, huh?”

 

            Shoyo smiled.  He loved moments like these.  They’d finished one hell of a practice today, still pumped after their more than decent showing at Spring High Nationals just a month ago.  They may not have won the tournament, but going all the way to semifinals was nothing any of them could really complain about, especially being as new to their dynamic as they were.  The third years certainly seemed content with it, no matter how much Daichi and Suga ribbed Asahi about missing that all important spike at deuce of their last game, claiming that he “lost them Nationals” which never ceased to bring tears to the big lovable man’s eyes (and Nishinoya sprinting over to hug him, but that was beside the point).

 

            These later practices of the year were more fun than any others in some ways.  It wasn’t about the next hill to climb, at least not yet.  This was about playing some more volleyball with their beloved third years before they graduated.  The after practice ritual of changing slowly and talking about everything under the sun was nice too.  Even if that usually ended up being Nishinoya and Tanaka blabbing about Kiyoko-san and how much they’d miss her beautiful…everything.

           

            “How about you, Shoyo?”

 

            “Huh?”

 

            “What’s your ideal girl like?”

 

            “G-girl?” he squawked.

 

            “Yeah,” Tanaka pressed, grinning over Noya’s shoulder.  “What kind of person gets your heart racing?”

 

            Shoyo blushed, eyes flying to Suga and Daichi as if to beg for help, which the two met with grins that made it very apparent they would be no help to their little decoy.  Sighing to himself, he looked back at his eager looking friends with a bashful smile.

 

            “No need to look so shy, Shoyo!”

 

            “Yeah, yeah, we’re all pals here.  We could even try to hook you up with someone!”

 

            Tsukishima scoffed.  “Yes, because that’s a marvelous idea.”

 

            To his surprise, even Kageyama chimed in, “Agreed.  No one that those two could set you up with would be good enough.”

 

            The moment of stunned silence from literally everyone in the club room brought an instant blush to Kageyama’s face.  “B-because they’d be all girly and annoying and interfere with practice of course!”

 

            A chorus of “oh” came from all involved parties, as if that response made the most sense ever, before returning to their conversation again.  Luckily, that little aside gave Shoyo just enough time to slip his bag over his shoulder and slink out of the room, receiving a pat and a wink from Daichi and Suga on the way out.

 

            He skipped his way through town, going a different direction than normal tonight, and smiled softly to himself, thinking a bit on what he would have said had he stayed.  “What kind of girl do you like” and “what kind of person gets your heart racing” were two very different questions.  It wasn’t that he didn’t like girls.  Girls were soft and cute and often super nice.  But there wasn’t a single one that he’d met so far that he would say he _like_ liked.  In fact, he’d only ever really felt strongly for one person before.

 

            Arriving at the train station, he checked his phone, seeing a text from Kenma waiting to be responded to.  With a grin he handed the clerk some money, grabbed his ticket and typed out “Just got my ticket.  Can’t wait to spend this next weekend with you. See you in three hours?”

 

            He supposed it was a kind of interesting story, maybe even one he’d tell his teammates one day,…how he’d come to like Kozume Kenma.

 

\---x---

 

            Their first meeting, looking back, seemed a bit like fate.  Shoyo was used to getting himself into various amounts of trouble with his enthusiasm.  His mother lovingly said it would always make his life interesting.  And though he could definitely see why some people wouldn’t want to do things the way he did, he had to agree with his mom.

           

            Still, getting lost wasn’t a part of his plans.  Neither was meeting Kenma.

 

            At least…not in the way that he did.

 

            He’d dealt with different types of people before; the excited types, the quiet types, Kageyama.  Still something about this boy, also claiming to be lost, intrigued him.  He’d never seen someone who didn’t care about not caring as much as Kenma did, that was for sure.  Shoyo was never one to judge, so he didn’t think badly of the quiet boy, but it was pretty strange.  If he didn’t care about anything too much, why wander out into a place he didn’t know?

 

            That’s when he noticed the shoes.

 

            It didn’t surprise him too much that this kid didn’t love volleyball.  After all, all his friends in Junior High had been the same way.  But still, the fact that he claimed to play it for his friends brought a warm feeling to his heart.  _Just like Izumi and Koji._   He decided then that he could respect this person, this Kozume Kenma.

 

            That didn’t stop him from wanting Kenma to love volleyball though.

 

            “I think you’ll find it more fun if you come to like it,” he says, and he means it. 

 

He means it even more when Kenma says he doesn’t think it’s strange that Shoyo’s a middle blocker.  He means it even more than that when Kenma reveals that people think it’s strange that he’s a setter.  Maybe it’s because Shoyo’s always had the opinion that if someone doubts you could do something you should do it super well, but he wants Kenma to be able to feel what he did during that Seijoh practice match.  To see the stunned faces and hear the surprised tones in an opponent’s voice when they realize they underestimated you.

 

            Out of curiosity he asks Kenma if his team is any good.  He expects a similar response as always, “not really”.  He doesn’t get that though.  What he gets is an expression that still flashes vividly in his mind six months later.

 

            He’s never seen eyes like Kenma’s before.

 

            They’re _sharp_.  Calculating.  Sizing him up, in a way that is non-threatening, but he also knows it could be threatening if Kenma chose it to be.  But in that moment, talking about his team, his friends, they’re warm and proud and Shoyo actually feels his heart skip a beat. 

 

He suddenly wants something, though for the life of him, in that moment, he can’t determine what he wants.  It settles deep in his belly, stays there until far after he figures out what school Kenma goes to, after their match, all the way until Kenma’s team is leaving and he blurts out that he wants Kenma to _feel_ something next time.  If he were a person who evaluated his own motives more, he’d probably question whether that statement is about making Kenma like volleyball or related to that weird feeling that still lingered in his gut.

 

He’s not that type of person though and when Kenma leaves him with his phone number, a small smile, and “I’m looking forward to it”, Shoyo can’t help but think that it all feels like a promise, one he very very desperately wants to keep.

 

\---x---

 

Kenma is freaking smart as hell.

 

Shoyo had known this of course, their practice matches that first time had proven that just by watching them score a few points, Kenma can come up with a strategy to derail their freak quick.  But he also shows it in a lot of other ways too.

 

Video games for example. Shoyo is shit at most video games he’s tried.  He’s never tried very hard to pretend otherwise.  But seeing Kenma so hooked on his portable game systems is interesting because Kenma actually looks excited sometimes.  Not like Shoyo excited.  He knows better than to ever expect that.  But there’s a subtle flash in those eyes of his when he beats a boss or solves a puzzle.  And he never seems to tire of his games the way he tires of other things so he must like it to some degree.

 

So he watched Kenma play at lulls in their practice during the first weekend training camp, trying to figure the games out for himself.  He asks questions, which Kenma is more than willing to answer, though in fragmented sentences because thinking about words and how to dodge projectiles is hard simultaneously.  Kenma lends him any handheld he’s not playing on at the moment and gives Shoyo suggestions for games he might like (or be good at).  They’ve gone through most first person shooters and RPGS with little success and the only things Shoyo seems to consistently do right is quick time events when Kenma suddenly sits up and makes a little gasp.

 

“K-Kenma?”

 

“Rhythm games.”

 

“What?”

 

His friend has this light of revelation in his eyes and nearly flies over to his bag, rummaging around for many moments before pulling out a game and holding it up almost triumphantly (if such a thing were possible for Kenma).  The box says Rhythm Heaven and has really cute art on it and Kenma just looks so hopeful that Shoyo can’t find it in himself to deny him.  Not that he was going to anyway, but still.

 

It turns out Kenma’s hunch is spot on.  Shoyo kicks ass at rhythm games, though it does take him a few tries to get past any tricky spots.  When they go back to Miyagi after the weekend, Kenma lets him borrow the DS and the game, telling him to return it during the week long training camp.  Shoyo is so incredibly honored by this show of trust and friendship that he hugs the game system to his chest and plays non-stop the whole ride back (and is apparently not the only one impressed because Kuroo looks like he’s about to fall over from shock).

 

Two days before the week long camp, Shoyo beats the game in its entirety, perfecting every level.  When he tells Kenma this, he receives back his first (and one of the only) emoticons Kenma ever sends via text.  Ｏ(≧▽≦)Ｏ

 

\---x---

 

            Shoyo remembers what it’s like to lose.  He remembers what Interhigh felt like vividly.  The hot disappointment settling in the base of his stomach like lava.  The tears spilling down his face.  He recalls doubting everything he’d ever done, thinking that maybe it was because it was such a good and close game that it hurt so much.

 

            He hadn’t felt that before he pledged to make Kenma love volleyball.  He hadn’t fully understood that loving something makes you vulnerable to it.  That having a team that you can rely on makes every mistake of yours feel worse because they relied on you too.

 

            So naturally when he hears that Nekoma lost in the semifinals of the Spring Tournament Qualifiers, he feels terrible.  Not just because this means that they can’t have their fight.  That’s what it is at first, he supposes, but then this creeping fear spreads through him and the only thing he can think of is how he had just been texting Kenma how they made it to Nationals and how they would have that match and now they won’t anymore.  And he thinks that if Kenma’s upset because of this, it’s because of him.

 

            He could just call him.  He could just call and ask how he’s feeling.  And maybe he would.  But he remembers how badly he wanted to make Kenma feel disappointed or upset back then and now all he can think is “I didn’t want _this_.”

 

            So he goes.  Calls his mom, packs a bag, jumps on the first train he can take.  He doesn’t have Kenma’s address, which he realizes on the train ride there.  So he texts Kuroo, whose response is surprising to say the least.

 

            **Good.  It probably had to be you anyway.**

 

            He’s not sure what that means exactly, but he has the address now and pretty detailed directions from the Nekoma captain.  He’s nervous when he knocks on the door.  He’s never been here.  He feels kind of foolish suddenly and combats the feeling by knocking again.  This is all together very odd and unexpected and he didn’t he text first.  Maybe he should just go…

 

            But then the door’s being thrown open and there’s Kenma looking like a thunderstorm.

 

            He’s genuinely shocked by how ragged Kenma looks.  His hair is hanging in his eyes, which are dark and misty.  His face is slightly flushed and he hasn’t even changed out of his practice clothes yet.  He probably stinks.  But Shoyo can see a flicker of emotion in those eyes that he’s grown so entranced with.  Something sad and shocked and yet….getting lighter?  Less dark.

 

            “S-Shoyo…”

 

            His voice cracks with emotions that Shoyo’s never heard before.  And that’s when it hits him: Kenma is upset.  Kenma is very upset and that makes sparks of cold and hot erupt in his chest at the same time.  He was right, he did cause his friend discomfort but despite that he finds himself slowly beginning to smile because this was a good choice, coming here.  Because Kenma feels something about this loss.  He wanted to play against Karasuno.  He wanted to play volleyball.

 

It’s not victory, it’s pride and affection for this boy who has _grown so much already_ and he wants to say something, anything, but then suddenly the mistiness in Kenma’s eyes spills over and he has his arms full of sobbing boy before he can truly recognize that his friend is crying.  Despite his own conflicting emotions, he doesn’t hesitate to hold Kenma to him, combing his hair, which is pretty gross to be honest, and nuzzling his neck gently.  Kenma looks, feels and smells like defeat, but Shoyo finds himself thinking one word over and over throughout the evening they share together: beautiful.

 

It’s kind of weird maybe.  To think a boy is beautiful.  But that’s what he is to Shoyo.  Especially later that night, lying in bed, when Kenma asks why he came out to see him at all.  He responds the only way he knows how (“Well, cuz’ I care about you! Duh!”) and when Kenma’s eyes widen and glisten in the dark of his room, he thinks it again, more concretely this time.  Kozume Kenma is truly and frighteningly beautiful.

 

\---x---

 

Shoyo isn’t entirely sure how to describe it but something changed that night.  He’s always enjoyed spending time with Kenma.  Their friendship has always been easy and stress free (the complete opposite of the way he and Kageyama are), which he honestly appreciates more than he can say.  He’s overheard Lev and Yaku commenting on how open Kenma has always been around Shoyo, which he hasn’t read too much into because he’s not really the type to, but he does sort of think it’s funny.  If they knew how open Kenma had been this past weekend, they’d probably each collapse of shock.

 

School was coming to an end for both of them.  Practices kept going during the week but neither school really kept up with weekend practice any more.  At least until the new first years were scouted in a couple weeks.  This weekend had been proposed as a study session over at Shoyo’s place (though he knows his mom doesn’t really buy it).  After all in a week or two finals would be coming up and they both knew Shoyo had a lot of studying to do.  But the part that got Shoyo really jazzed up was that this was the first time Kenma would be at his house.

 

The weekend had proven…surprising to say the least.  He expected to not study much, play video games with Kenma and try to keep Natsu from bothering them too much.  When he opens the door to his house, of course his baby sister is there, eyes wide and eager to meet this new person.  He’s about to launch into a speech about how Kenma is pretty shy and that she shouldn’t bother them when Kenma kneels down slightly and gives a small smile before murmuring “Hello Natsu.  I’m Kenma.”

 

He can feel his jaw fall open when his sister takes Kenma’s hand and drags him into the house, barely letting him kick off his shoes and stutter “sorry for the intrusion.”  And then they’re gone, into the kitchen, where he can hear his mother greeting Kenma too.  He creeps into the kitchen himself, watching from the entryway and Kenma converses with his mother with an easy smile on his face, allowing Natsu to hold his hand.  He’s never particularly thought of Kenma was unsociable….but definitely not the type to handle it this well.

 

He’s more and more impressed when over the span of two hours Kenma has both denied Shoyo the right to kick Natsu out of the room _and_ let her brush his hair as they played games.  When dinner comes around he doesn’t talk a whole lot, but definitely more than he’s ever seen Kenma do towards people he’s just met. 

 

When they head back to his room after dinner, he poked Kenma gently about this subject, not wanting to sound rude, but genuinely curious.  Kenma looks up from the textbook he’s reading with a bemused expression and simply replies, “your family is a lot like you, I guess.”  He tries his best not to look confused by this statement and apparently fails because Kenma chuckles to himself before returning to his homework.

 

The rest of the weekend is much like that.  Kenma’s presence in his house is not foreign or unfitting at all.  He doesn’t always know what to say to Shoyo’s mother and exuberant sister, but never seems to be uncomfortable.  And when they’re alone they alternate between getting a good bit of studying done (Kenma somehow manages to explain math in a way that makes sense to Shoyo, which his mother nearly hugs him for later) and playing a lot of games. 

 

It’s nice, this warm feeling he has.  It’s like being at home has somehow gotten just a little bit better.  He supposes it may be because he’s never really had friends that were close enough to sleep over at his place.  But glancing up at his blond friend, who is presently engrossed in showing Natsu all his cats on Neko Astume, he knows that it probably is also something Kenma specific as well.

 

The highlight of his entire weekend, though, is the last night, when he has managed to convince Kenma to download Yandere Simulator, not knowing what the game (or the meme) was about.  When the game gives advice about how to successfully kill his classmates as if it is the goal of the game, Shoyo’s shock manages to draw and few amused huffs out of his friend.  However, he jumps right into the game with this new information, quickly figuring out the secret to summoning demons, specifically the one that dismembers anyone around you.  Shoyo’s commentary is apparently priceless because Kenma hasn’t stopped grinning for the past twenty minutes.  He kills around ten students before being confronted by a teacher, who, to his utter shock, expels him for _coming to class looking like **that**_.  He’s so outraged that he spews a stream of curses ranging from “did you not see me murder your students?  And your issue is my clothes?” to “I AM A GOD, YOU CAN’T EXPEL ME.” 

 

He doesn’t notice it at first but there’s a really soft sound from his left and he turns to see Kenma’s face buried in his hands.  He’s at first confused, then concerned, but before he can ask if his friend is ok, Kenma throws his head back and releases the loudest, most unattractive laughter he has ever heard.  There are actual tears running down his face, and he must say this type of crying is much much preferable.  The small ball of warmth that’s been in his stomach all weekend explodes into an inferno, heating up his cheeks and ears.  Kenma manages to calm himself down a bit and cracks an eye open, wiping at his face.  The smile’s still there and he’s still chuckling, but his eyes are bright and warm and Shoyo feels like he could drown in them.

 

Suddenly, he finds himself wanting something and flashes back to their first meeting, when he wanted something but couldn’t figure out what it was exactly.  Now, he thinks he knows but it’s not exactly one thing.

 

He wants Kenma to keep laughing.

 

He wants Kenma to stay here, with him, in this warm space they’ve created where home feels even more like home than normal.

 

He wants to kiss those lips that are stretched into a rarely wide grin.  He wants to hug his friend again, bury his hands in the hair that is much less gross this time.  He wants Kenma to feel this way about him too.

 

He wants Kenma.

 

And in the lull between Kenma’s laughing, to the sound of Yandere Simulator of all things, Shoyo blurts out, “I like you.”

 

It’s a terrifying few moments, where he’s worried he’s ruining it.  That all the warmth and happiness they’ve built up together will be shattered.  Kenma’s eyes are wide now and his smile is gone.  Shoyo should be feeling pretty scared, and would, if not for the way that the brightness in Kenma’s eyes just gets brighter until his eyes are glistening just like they were that night in Kenma’s bed.

 

The sides of Kenma’s mouth pull up and up until he’s giving Shoyo a smile that isn’t that wide or overly expressive, but still knocks the wind out of his lungs.  And if that leaves Shoyo breathless, then his quiet murmur of “M-me too…I…like you too,” may just have killed the poor boy and sent him to heaven.

 

\---x---

 

The train’s speaker announces its arrival at his stop before Shoyo really notices.  Suddenly pumped beyond all belief, he flies from the train, up the stairs and to the waiting area, searching for that mop of brown-blond hair he’s come to love so much.  When he finally spots him, Shoyo breaks into a sprint, crying out, “Kenma!!”  Said boy looks up from his phone, eyes lighting up and a small, almost unnoticeable smile gracing his lips.  He doesn’t resist when Shoyo throws himself around Kenma, hugging his first ever boyfriend to him so tightly he can hear Kenma wheeze a bit. 

 

When they pull away, both are blushing brightly, excited at the prospect of spending their first weekend together since they decided to start dating.  Shoyo laces his fingers with Kenma’s, squeezing once and feeling his heart rate spike when Kenma squeezes back, then leads them out of the station and towards Kenma’s house.  He thinks he may tell Noya and Tanaka about this.  Eventually.  But right now, he just wants to enjoy it.  He may think girls are cute, but there’s so far only one person who gets his heart racing in this way.  And he wouldn’t have it any other way.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys!
> 
> So after my first fic "Why I Love Him", I got a lot of awesome feedback and I felt really really honored that you guys liked it. So, I wrote another one from Hinata's POV. This is pretty different. I went into more detail on some events, and this story progresses a bit further than the last. I got the idea for the Yandere Simulator bit from Markiplier. Kenma's reaction was actually my friend's reaction when watching the vid, so thanks to you, my hilarious youtube friend.
> 
> Anyway, as always lemme know what you think. And if you have requests/suggestions lemme know!


End file.
